Guides for Dilating

Online Guides

There are many online guides available which provide useful and informative information to help people through the dilation process. Here is a short list of those available online:

My Tips & Tricks

The guides on this page provide a great resource when starting dilation. However, reading these with the advantage of hindsight they often come across simply as 'if you add 1 + 2 = 3'.  My experience has been that there is a difference between knowing what you should do and actually doing it. So here are a couple of things which helped me along the way:

  • Don’t begin dilation therapy until YOU want too. There are many ways to enjoy healthy and pleasurable sexual experiences by yourself or with a partner without penis & vagina sex.
  • Be careful not to dilate into your urethra. This can be painful and can cause problems. Be sure to get instructions from your medical professional to make sure you are dilating the correct area.
  • Get comfortable! I would dilate lying on my back but found that my hands and arms would get fatigued and generally uncomfortable. I devised a complex mountain of pillows to prop myself on so I could get consistent pressure without fatiguing my arms.
  • Use a lot of water based lubrication.
  • There are creams which your doctor can prescribe which might help with the stretching. I only found out about these recently and I'm sure they would have been helpful when I was stretching my vagina.
  • Pee before and afterwards. Peeing before helps because it reduces some of the pressure. Peeing after helped me reduce urinary tract infections.
  • Really try and be consistent but if you don't feel like dilating one day, don't do it and don't feel guilty about it. It won't do you or your vagina any good!
  • Breathing helps to relax the muscles in the pelvic floor. I found that if I was stressed the muscles in my pelvic floor would tense to the point where I could barely insert the dilator. Women's health physiotherapists can help with learning to release these muscles. You could also try activities like yoga which teach you to breathing and relax techniques.
  • For some this process might be smooth sailing but for others like me it was very difficult. The main thing that I would do differently if I was starting all over again would be to combine this process with some kind of professional therapy or counselling. 
  • Don’t forget about your sexual identity throughout this process.